It’s August 2002. You’ve dragged your dad to the shops to get some new boots before the season starts.
Obviously, you’ve decided to do this the day before the new campaign. It’s heaving. Your dad begins to regret having children.
He quickly hands you the first pair of Umbro boots he can find, in a desperate bid to escape the madness as quickly as possible.
But you’re not interested. You know exactly what you came here for, and you’re absolutely willing to cause a scene in public if you don’t get them.
A sweaty member of staff, carrying more shoe boxes than humanly possible, approaches. You grab their attention.
It’s the moment of truth. Are you going to be David Beckham this season, or just Jesper Gronkjaer.
It all gets a bit much for your dad. “Do you have the Predators in a size three?” He concedes defeat.
But deep down he knows it’s only a matter of time before all your mates are wearing Total 90s.
Don’t you miss the days when your feet grew bigger every year?
If you were lucky enough to grow up playing football in the noughties, you almost certainly would’ve had some of the following boots.
Prepare for an absolute overload of nostalgia as we rank our favourite boots from the 2000s.
Maradona, the Hand of God and setting fire to a Womble – One of talkSPORT’s funniest calls
13. adidas F50
Personally, I didn’t like these, but given how popular they were, I felt obliged to include them somewhere.
And in fairness, if they were good enough for Lionel Messi, then who am I to dismiss them?
The F50s were absolutely revolutionary when they emerged just before Euro 2004.
They were the first boots to have leather covering the laces for a larger strike zone, but I just couldn’t get on with that synthetic heel.
12. Umbro Speciali
You just can’t knock them. If only we knew how retro they would become when we were begging our parents for a more expensive pair.
Made famous by John Terry, if you came up against a defender wearing these, you were certain to go home with bruises.
But they weren’t exclusively for no-nonsense footballers: Michael Owen also rocked these classics during his prime.
11. A-line Ultra World Cup
Yes, I’m a Chelsea fan. Yes, these were Gianfranco Zola’s boots. Yes, that’s the reason they’re here.
10. Nike Air Zoom Total 90 III
The Total 90s were so much more than football boots. They were the must-have fashion accessory of the noughties.
I’m talking school discos, barbecues, christenings. If you didn’t have that circled 90 on your instep, there wasn’t much point going out.
The boots were pretty cool too, but not as cool as their predecessor, which features much higher on our list. Stay tuned.
9. adidas adiPure
They were just so soft! I remember trying them on and feeling like my foot had actually melted.
To this day, the adiPures remain the most comfortable boots I have ever owned.
You can’t go wrong with that classic aesthetic, too. They embodied a classy midfield general.
8. Lotto Cafu Vento 2
Anyone remember these?
Can’t recall ever seeing them in the Premiership, they were seemingly exclusive to the Continent.
But I remember thinking Cafu was some sort of football god because he had his own gold boots.
7. Nike Air Legend Tiempo R10
To this day, I’m still not sure if the famous ‘Crossbar’ advert was doctored.
If it was anyone else, you’d say it was fake, but for Ronaldinho in those boots, anything was possible.
Nobody, other than great man himself, actually wore these, you weren’t meant to. You were suppose to drule over them in the shop.
The Brazilian was too good to wear the same boots as everyone else, so he had his own special pair.
6. Reebok Integrity
And once you finished drooling over Ronaldinho’s signature boots, you bought the Reeboks.
You might be disappointed at first, but after a few weeks in these beauties, you’d realise you actually struck gold.
No gimmicks, just perfect, classic football boots.
5. Nike Mercurial Vapor I
The boots which still keep defenders up at night.
If you wore these, you were no doubt rapid and lethal in front of goal.
After all, they were made famous by two of the greatest strikers in history: Ronaldo and Thierry Henry.
4. Diadora LX K Pro
Like with Ronaldinho’s Tiempos, sometimes it’s not so much about the boot, but the player connected with them.
And there is no stronger connection than Francesco Totti and Diadora.
The legendary Italian maestro stuck with the classic boots for his entire career, and looking back, it’s easy to see why.
There’s just nothing not to like.
3. Nike Air Zoom Total 90 II
Think 2002 World Cup. Think Luis Figo. Think literally everyone in your class.
Nothing says noughties like the original Total 90s.
2. Puma King XL
If we’re talking about the history of football, it would be a straight fight between Puma Kings and Copa Mundials.
Worn by some of the game’s all-time greats – such as Pele, Johan Cruyff and Diego Maradona – these are truly iconic boots.
Puma took the ageless design and updated it when they produced the King XL during the 2000s.
So football’s hipsters could wear a timeless classic that was also suited to the modern game.
1. adidas Predator Mania (or any of them)
But given they literally defined the entire decade, the Predators come out on top.
Let’s face it, there would be uproar if they didn’t.
Whether it was Beckham, Steven Gerrard, or Frank Lampard – everyone’s favourite player wore them.
And even now, they’re just stunning. What a boot.
